Process : Han SH (5/5)

Write a five-paragraph-essay on a topic that you chose. You should show me seven parts of the process of your writing.

 

1. Please state the goal of your essay

100 years have passed since the Japanese annexation of Korea is finished and it’s time to create an atmosphere of the true reconciliation and partnership. However, one of the hottest issues between Korean and Japan is the Dokdo territorial dispute, which has been acting as a thorn in the two nation’s sides. Most Koreans show furious interest when this matter is being a major issue of mass media, nonetheless we need to teach our students why Japan tries to make the islets a part of their territory and what importance the islets have for the two nations to stop the absurd argument and keep the islets safely for generations.

 

2. Tell me who the ‘reader/audience’ of your essay is/are.

My target customers are the six graders who learn the modern history of Korea in a class and my essay would be a supplementary material for providing information and a discussion topic.

 

3. State the main ideas

To fight against Japan and keep our territory eternally, we need to know the significance of the islets from various points of view such as geographic, economic, and military.

 

4. Organize the main ideas (list in order)

Introduction – start by raising a current issue surrounding the islets between the two nations and get readers attention on the importance of Dokdo.

Development – explain the three key points of significance one by one.

Closing – synthesize and conclude.

5. Write the first draft of a five-paragraph-essay

Have you ever been to Dokdo? Do you know the position of Dokdo? Yes, it’s in the far east side of Gyeonsangbuk-do in Korea and divided into two islets, Dongdo and Seodo. However, Japan has claimed that the islets are theirs from  ancient times and has been trying to deprive them of our nation. Do you know why they have wanted the islets so badly making a conflict with their neighbor? How much importance do the islets have for Japan despite of making bad emotions from Korean? Let’s find out what importance the islets have.

 

First, geographically, Dokdo is located between Korea and Japan making a border in the sea. Thus having the islets mean expanding maritime territory and having rights within a radius of 370km around the islets. They could get a large amount of natural resources and power.

 

Next, economically, the islets have enormous energy potential because hydrates, a substituted energy source to oil, have found from near and the deep sea of the islets with which Korea can use at least more than 50years as a alternative energy source not to mention other resources such as beautiful underwater scenery and various living organisms.

 

Last, militarily, the location of the islets is very important. They can be used as a military radar base to detect surrounding nations such as China, Russia, and Pacific region. The value of the islets is way more than we can imagine.

 

Japan has been trying to achieve the islets for these reasons above. It provides a enormous territory of ocean, alternative energy and natural resources, and useful military base for the future. For this reason, Dokdo is very important to our nation as well as Japan, thus we need to get more attention and know the islets for blocking Japan’s evil will and keeping them eternally for generations. Now let’s think about what you can do for it and discuss them with your friends.

 

 

6. Review it and make a comment on it (self-check)

- Goals of the writer

  The main message is to give information about what kind of importance do the islets have for our students and let them think about it with their friends. There no problem in the first draft I think.

 

- Model of the reader

  I wrote this for the six graders with a certain tone considering their prior knowledge and interest, but I think it can be rather difficult for them in relation to their level of English, thus it needs to be written more easily and simply.

 

- Gathering ideas

  I already know a lot of this topic and gathered information from various resources before writing and it was easy to gather them as it has been an major issue for me.

 

- Organizing ideas

  Before I wrote this I think of the structure and organize them into three parts for giving explicit message and easy understanding.

 

- Ideas to text

  Actually it was not easy to write quickly because it will be used for a class and I think it’s easier to talk about the ideas directly than to write them.

 

- Reviewing

  I followed the procedure when writing and checking them and I tried to write clearly but I could still improve this text suitable for the level of six graders.

 

- Editing

  I could find several misspelled words through spellchecking and consulted a dictionary, corrected some errors, and changed several sentences for effective message delivery, but I still feel insufficient and incompetent.

7. Write the final draft of the essay.

 

 

 

Have you ever been to Dokdo? Can you find the islets on your map? Yes, it’s in the easternmost part of Gyeonsangbuk-do in Korea and divided into two islets, Dongdo and Seodo. However, Japan has claimed that the islets are theirs from ancient times and has been trying to deprive Korea of the islets. Do you know why Japan has wanted the islets so badly making conflicts with our country? What importance do the islets have? Let’s take a look at the main three points one by one.

 

First, the islets are located between Korea and Japan in the east sea bordering on the two countries geographically. Thus, for Japan, having the islets mean expanding maritime territory and having rights for a large amount of natural resources and power within a radius of 370km around the islets.

 

Next, economically, the islets have enormous energy potential because hydrates, an alternative energy source to fossil fuel, have been found from near and the deep sea of the islets with which Korea can use at least more than 50years as an alternative energy source not to mention other resources such as beautiful underwater scenery and various living organisms.

 

Last, the location of the islets is militarily important. They can be used as a military radar base to detect surrounding nations’ naval forces such as China, Russia, North Korea, and Pacific region. The value of the islets is way more than we can imagine.

 

This is why Japan has been trying to achieve the islets. It provides an enormous territory of ocean, alternative energy and natural resources, and useful military base for the future. For this reason, Dokdo is very important to our nation as well as Japan, thus we need to know well about the value of the islets and let the world know that Dokdo is our territory for keeping them eternally for generations. Now let’s think about what you can do for keeping the islets from Japan and discuss them with your friends.