Process: Hong EY (5.2 / 5)

In brief, you are expected to write a five-paragraph-essay on a topic that you chose. You should show me seven parts of the process of your writing.

 

[Brainstorming]

Home /Family life	University /Education	The Environment	Society /Community	Lifestyle	Other
l Marriage l Children l Traditions l Adoption l Teenagers pregnancy l Divorce l Nuclear family l Obesity l Planning for children's future l Suicide due to financial problems l Dual income	l Rank l Major l Drinking culture l An excess educational desire of parents l Studying abroad l A bride for educators l Homeschooling l Distance learning	l Air pollution l Global warming l Greenhouse effect l Natural disasters l Recycling l Allocation of natural resource l Food chain - Domino effect l Nature	l Discrimination l Humor l Universal health care l Distrust l Globalization l Nuclear l Generation l Nuclear l Generation Gap l Longer lifespan l Regional relation l Gap between the rich and the poor	l Trend l Recreation facilities l early adapter l Medical insurances l Respect culture l Fashion l Health l Culture - entertainment	l  Human cloning l  Euthanasia l  Death penalty l  Dodge one's military service l  Abortion l  Adultery of legalization l  Well-being

 

Home/Family life University/Education The Environment Society/Community Lifestyle Other	⇒	Children Teaching method Nature Longer lifespan Culture - entertainment Well-being	⇒ ⇒ ⇒	Educational system Increasing lifespan Culture + entertainment	⇒	The Necessity of Creating Cultural Space - Theme park (Fun) - Edutainment space
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1.      Please state the goal of your essay

The goal of my essay is to let general people and the people working at Korean government know how important it is to have our own culture and cultural space and persuade them to try considering of creating a cultural space as a national enterprise. I always want to be a theme park creator although I am pursuing a different profession, but I still have a dream of becoming a profession in Entertainment in the future.

2.      Tell me who the ‘reader/audience’ of your essay is/are.

General people and people working at government related to a policy planning committee.

3.      State the main ideas

It is time to formulate and carry out innovative national cultural policies for Korea.

4.      Organize the main ideas (list in order)

ü  The strongest weapon for every country in the future = “Culture”

ü  21^st century is the era of competing culture – the importance of culture.

ü  Innovative national cultural policies for Korea needed

n  Systematize cultural archetypes

n  Construct cultural spaces like a theme park

n  Create performances.

ü  Korean government concentrate its efforts on reinforcement including systematize cultural archetypes, build cultural spaces, and create performances based on Korean cultural heritage.

 

5.      Write the first draft of a five-paragraph-essay

Introduction

[Attention getter] What will be the strongest weapon for every country in the future? The answer is “Culture”. [Background knowledge] 21^st century is the era of competing culture. More and more the importance of culture rises. At this point of time, to survive in this competition with the other countries, and to keep up with time, deep down, specific plans enhancing for Korea are demanded. “The best things about Korea can also be the best things for the world.” [Thesis statement] It is time to formulate and carry out innovative national cultural policies for Korea; 1) systematize cultural archetypes, 2) construct cultural spaces like a theme park, and 3) create performances.

Body 1

[Topic Sentence 1] Systematizing cultural archetypes is not only the most underlying but also the most significant task. [Supporting Sentence 1] Systematizing cultural archetypes would contribute to set up our identities. + [Detail-SS1] // [Supporting Sentence 2] We will have unique characteristics to compete and survive in globalized modern society. + [Detail-SS2] // [Supporting Sentence 3] The result of this task can be immense cultural property as communication resources. + [Detail-SS3] // [Concluding Sentence 1] Systematizing cultural archetypes is not only a way to strengthen our national power but practical use is also important like a theme park.

Body 2

[Topic Sentence 2] Creating cultural spaces can contribute to improve the quality of the nation’ lives. [Supporting Sentence 1] People can enjoy their spare time. + [Detail-SS1] // [Supporting Sentence 2] Cultural spaces can be used as educational facilities. + [Detail-SS2] // [Supporting Sentence 3] We can use it as tourism resources. + [Detail-SS3] // [Concluding Sentence 2] The cultural places will offer better condition of recreation to foreigners as well as the nation.

Body 3

[Topic Sentence 3] Product performances can take several advantages in diverse directions. [Supporting Sentence 1] It makes people enjoy their free time and improve their lives. + [Detail-SS1] // [Supporting Sentence 2] The actors/actresses performing can be useful cultural mission. + [Detail-SS2] // [Supporting Sentence 3] Creating performances can make economic value. + [Detail-SS3] // [Concluding Sentence 3] Performances would chiefly help make inducement of tourists and could affect economic growth.

Conclusion

Korean government concentrate its efforts on reinforcement including three parts: systematize cultural archetypes, build cultural spaces, and create performances based on Korean cultural heritage.

 

6.      Review it and make a comment on it (self-check)

All the supporting sentences need supporting details because the strong arguments must be based on the reasonable facts. Some statistic results which can support my thesis/topic sentences are required. Each paragraph maintains balanced length. While developing the essay, there should not be abundant ideas or repetitions.

Also, think about if

1)      … the essay offends the readers feeing with some reasons

2)      … there is a way to find and gather information from various resource. If do, where/what can be?

3)      … you use sub heading

4)      … there are potential strengths and weakness in the essay

5)      … there is any spelling mistakes or errors

 

7.      Write the final draft of the essay.

The solution in 21^st century is “Culture”

-“The best things about Korea can also be the best things for the world”-

What will be the strongest weapon for every country in the future? The answer is “Culture”. There is no doubt that 21^st century is the era of competing culture. Lots of scholars and futurologists assert that depending on how much a country has cultural capacity the country’s destiny will be changed. Therefore, many countries are trying to strengthen their cultural policies as national points of view in order to have better positions than the other countries. Nowadays, more and more the importance of culture rises. At this point of time, to survive in this competition with the other countries, and to keep up with time, deep down, specific plans enhancing for Korea are demanded. Also, the government has pushed ahead with the mission of branding Korea in the belief that “The best things about Korea can also be the best things for the world,” meaning the best things here can appeal to the international market and effectively boost Korean national brand. It is time to formulate and carry out innovative national cultural policies for Korea; the policies should be composed of three parts such as systematize cultural archetypes, construct cultural spaces like a theme park, and create performances.

 

First of all, systematizing cultural archetypes is not only the most underlying but also the most significant task. Above all, systematizing cultural archetypes would contribute to set up our identities because we have forgotten or lost our egos. People often point out that more and more people living in modern society follow western style regardless ours and live while they don’t know who they are. Even though we learn history and culture in school, our knowledge of ourselves is not enough or can be wrong. If we continuously live without concerning our culture, we might lose our identities in the future. Therefore, the process for the efficient conduct of systematizing cultural archetypes will let us take time to reconsider and know well about ourselves. Moreover, through this progress, we will have unique characteristics to compete and survive in globalized modern society. People are too busy to take a look at ourselves because they much more care about western culture and even they think it is superior to our culture. Also, people often hesitate to answer for asked questions from foreigners who would like to know about Korea. However, the culture which can represent us is not western culture, but our culture. Thus, systematizing cultural archetypes is very important in order to get attention from foreign countries and keep up with them show and our nation. The result of this task can be immense cultural property as communication resources. If Korea has a variety of cultural contents by systematizing cultural archetypes, people can use and develop them diverse ways of communication based on cultural heritage. For example, ‘Dae Jang Geum’, a successful example of Korean drama in global market, was made of creative themes based on cultural archetypes and have made hundreds billons. This mainly describes the life of a waiting woman, Jang Geum, working kitchen to cook food provided for King. This is a model example improved “The best things about Korea can also be the best things for the world.” Systematizing cultural archetypes is not only a way to strengthen our national power but practical use is also important like a theme park.

 

Second, creating cultural spaces can contribute to improve the quality of the nation’ lives. People can enjoy their spare time. According to report on TV, one reason that drinking culture develop is the sound cultural places are insufficient. Even though people working hard without free time indeed need to take a rest, they can’t find where they can enjoy. In addition, teenagers can yield to temptation of undesirable entertainment. Consequently, creating cultural spaces is required because it will provide better conditions of recreation for the people. Cultural spaces can be used as educational facilities. Nowadays, a great variety of teaching methods are made. Both children and parents want to learn new knowledge and get and information by new and interesting education systems. If we build up new cultural places such as amusement parks and theme parks, the places would be reborn as educational space. Through cultural spaces, we can use it as tourism resources. A number of people visiting other countries love to visit theme parks. According to a statistic result, the average annually, Disneyland in Los Angeles attracts about 10,000,000 foreign tourists and Disneyworld in Florida attracts more than 24,000,000 foreign tourists. If we create unique as well as universal theme parks taken from cultural heritage, it would attract many tourists. Therefore, the cultural places will offer better condition of recreation to foreigners as well as the nation. At the same time, we should think about product performances as another way of practical use.

 

Third, product performances can take several advantages in diverse directions. It makes people enjoy their free time and improve their lives. As compared the past with the present, more and more people are interest in performances. However, people are still unfamiliar with enjoy performances and the public has only a superficial understanding of the performances. If diverse performances will be created by carrying out a policy, the activities would be people’s huge pleasure and their cultural level could be raised, and the people will be satisfied with their lives. The actors/actresses performing can be useful cultural mission. While foreigners are attending in live performances having Korean traditional concepts, they are awakened to our national image new significance and know about us at least. In addition, it will contribute to renew national image. Creating performances can make economic value. If it is utilized tourism resource and products, it could make more profit than expert cars, because both potentialities and effects of culture are huge as much as we cannot imagine. For example, Jump, the initial martial art performance annually make about 20,000,000~30,000,000 dollars since they make inroads into the world market in 2007. Thus, performances would chiefly help make inducement of tourists and could affect economic growth.

 

To conclude, Korean government concentrate its efforts on reinforcement including three parts: systematize cultural archetypes, build cultural spaces like theme parks, and create performances based on Korean cultural heritage so that we live better and survive in global society.